So this is the new year…

“i wish the world was flat like the old days

and i could travel just by folding a map

no more airplanes or speedtrains or freeways

there’d be no distance that could hold us back…”

Said goodbye to my love who lives in Berkeley at 5:30 am this morning.

Standing in the rain, watching him drive away in the yellow cab, crying like the girl that I am, I realized again how much this man means to me. Went back to sleep for several hours, woke up, and resolved once more to get myself a darn job in the bay area. Not only is commission retail sales stressful and soul killing, it zaps all my energy so that in a good week I apply to only six job listings. That’s not enough. I know this. I fired off several applications and resumes for hours until I could no longer even comprehend the job postings and the words all ran together. Took a break, ate some food, watched the first episode of 24. Started thinking about him again, and had a burst of energy, enough to get me to break out my sketchbook (!) It’s been muuuuuuuuch too long since the last time I sketched anything. I’m really out of practice and my hand’s a little rusty, but hey that’s how it always is in the beginning when you’re trying to get your drawing hand back. You really can’t judge beginnings, just work through them. For me, sketching is where it all starts. That’s when serious business starts, and when the ideas start to come. Getting there, working up the motivation is the hard part. But all that happened was that I was thinking about my wonderful boyfriend, and suddenly I just felt like drawing. And I realized again how much this love has awakened me.